Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I wish it was possible to slap people through the internet.

OK, I am dealing with some fairly big and very profitable (from what I hear and can work out myself) companies. I can't be bothered going into details, but let's just say today does not rate highly on the job-satisfaction scale.

Times I have banged my fist on the desk - 22 (approx)
Times I have yelled "are you stupid?" - 3
Times I have yelled "are you trying to make my life difficult?" - 8
Times I have given up and checked my email - 4
Times I have walked around the lounge huffing and pulling my hair - 2
Times I have contemplated going and getting a job at Subway - 1

I might still like my job, I'm sure I did once, but the petty, frustrating, and just downright pointless rubbish I'm having to deal with today is making it that difficult to remember what that felt like.

Being an employee was never this bad, even at Riverside Mountain FUBAR.

Being an employee you get paid for working and for putting up with petty idiocy and frustration.

Being a contractor means you get paid for working and then petty idiocy is smething you put up with for free.

To top it all off, you have to work through the petty idiocy before you get paid, unlike being an employee where you can just throw your hands up and say "at least I still get paid this Thursday".

That probably didn't make much sense to you. I don't care.

Let's just leave it at - Richard is in a bad mood and wishes he could just grab some of these people and shake them until their tiny little brains rattled out of their ear.

To lighter, but yet still pointless things:

Which is worse, to be the kind of couple that has to go grocery shopping together to discuss their purchases:

He picks up a loaf of 60% whole wheat bread
She - "why don't you get the white bread pookie"
He - "oh no ookums, I know you like 60% whole wheat bread"
She - "but pookie, you like enriched white bread"
Richard (thinks) "let me through, I'm hungry"
He - "I just want to make you happy"
Richard gives up on getting bread and decides he can quite happily eat toasted rolls for breakfast for the next week.

OR to be the kind of couple that can have just one member go grocery shopping... as long as they are on their cellphone to the other member at all times.

She "OK, I'm at the cereal aisle now pookie. What kind of cereal did you want me to get?"
She "I know you like oatmeal, but what kind, we have..." here, She starts to list EVERY kind of oatmeal in the store, brand, name, and flavour.

Obviously I'm not privy to any more details about these couple's relationships, but really

1) You're discussing groceries. Groceries are not usually worthy of much discussion - "do you like X?" "Yes" (and really, if you're grocery shopping together, you should know this stuff already - I'm 90% sure I can buy acceptable groceries for my family and I have only ever called them pookie or oookums in a demeaning fashion. I'm also pretty sure I could buy acceptable groceries for my best friend, who I have never lived with and have defintely never called pookie or ookums, EVER, mainly because he looks like a Neanderthal (and I'm safe saying that because he admitted he doesn't read my blog much).

After confirming the other person's like or dislike of the food (by the way mum, I do like beetroot) you may then say "Good, what's the cheapest X?" This is the most important part of grocery shopping but does not require much discussion. By the age of 14, children should have learned all the key factors necessary to make a good grocery decision. [see appendix]

That's it. This is the limit of socially acceptable grocery discussion. You might be allowed an interesting anecdote about the company who makes X, or your friend who swears they can tell the difference between X and Y, but can't really. But even that is pushing it.

2) The word pookie, and all baby talk of that ilk, is not suitable for use to another adult, at least not in public - it just makes you sound like an idiot. End of discussion.

3) Grocery shopping is a chore that is necessary to get food into your house for the next week. It is not a chance to prove to the world at large how much you love each other (especially if the world at large are hungry and just want to pick up the kind of bread they've already decided on).

4) Yes, I'm bitter and anti-romantic, and generally not a nice person. I don't care.

Much better. Nothing like being nasty about people to clear my mind a little.


Key factors in grocery shopping.

1) How much do you, and any other people you are buying for, like the product?
2) How much of it do you eat (compared to storage space, and how quickly it spoils)
3) What is the unit price (own brands are usually very competitive with brand names).
4) Is it on sale?

Glad you're feeling better after letting off steam. Amazing that your mother can actually teach you something useful after all. I suppose this is the pay-off for years of child-rearing! Hope the people are nicer to you today
BTW I'd say 4 ought to be 1, no point in 1 thro 3 if the answer to 4 is NO !
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